Today, I want to delve into a topic that often stirs up some deep thoughts and discussions: the single life versus the married life, all through the lens of Christian faith. Now, before we dive in, let’s take a little trip through history to understand why marriage even became a thing in the first place.
A brief history on Marriage
From a non-Christian perspective, marriage has been seen throughout history as a practical arrangement, often rooted in financial and economic considerations rather than matters of the heart. Families sought alliances, property rights were secured, and societal structures were upheld through these unions. It was more about stability and survival than about love and companionship.
But as Christians, we believe that marriage is much more than a mere contract or convenience. It’s a sacred covenant designed to reflect the profound love that God has for His people, as demonstrated through the relationship between Christ and the church. It’s about sacrificial love, mutual respect, and unwavering commitment—a reflection of the divine love story written in the scriptures. However, let’s face it, from both perspective: marriage isn’t a walk in the park.
Single Versus Married life
If you’re like me, single in your 30s, congratulations! You’ve just avoided becoming a statistic by having your first divorce. Joke aside, in today’s world, it seems like the allure of marriage is fading for many. The reality is that marriage takes work—lots of it. It requires humility, patience, and a whole lot of grace. And sometimes, in the midst of the challenges, the beauty of this sacred union can get overshadowed.
On the flip side, being single comes with its own set of perks and challenges. As Christians, we’re reminded that both Jesus and the apostle Paul were single. They lived lives of incredible purpose and devotion to God without the companionship of a spouse. Being single allows for undivided focus on serving the Lord and His kingdom—a freedom and opportunity that shouldn’t be underestimated.
Yet, despite the biblical examples of singleness, there can still be a stigma attached to it within the church. Singles may feel overlooked or even pitied, as if they’re somehow incomplete until they find their “other half.” But this couldn’t be further from the truth! Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage—it’s a valuable season of life in its own right, filled with opportunities for growth, service, and fulfillment.
Looking at how my own parents interact with each other after being married for 20+ years made me realize that actually fewer people should get married. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are happy, and I know there’s not a single perfect couple on earth, but watching daily life unfold and observing it as a 30-something child gave me a new perspective. Without Jesus’ grace, I am not cut out to be a wife (despite being able to cook and clean, the mental work it takes to be a wife is on a whole other level!). Someone said to me before: “Why would you want to add another heavy commitment when you already have so many other commitments (like your job, your dream of buying your own house, getting a big dog, and retiring your parents well)?” He told me I have a Disney view of marriage, and I admit, maybe I did… just a tiny bit.
So, what does the Bible say about all of this?
Well, let’s take a look:
Genesis 2:18 – “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'” Here, we see that God created marriage to provide companionship and support.
1 Corinthians 7:8 – “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” Paul himself acknowledges the value of singleness and encourages those who are single to embrace it wholeheartedly.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 – “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided.” This passage highlights the unique opportunities for undivided devotion to God that singleness affords. Plus you can enjoy and focus on your purpose and other commitments too. Learn to be whole by yourself because you are whole with God.
Afterthought
Whether you find yourself walking the path of singleness or marriage, remember this: your worth and identity are not defined by your relationship status. Both paths have their ups and downs, but ultimately, what matters most is our commitment to following Christ wholeheartedly in whatever season we find ourselves. Enjoy life, develop friendships, travel, make your dreams come true, and live your life! Yes, you heard me right. Don’t wait for marriage, life goes on! The journey can be lonely sometimes, but with God’s grace, you can overcome and live life to the fullest. So, let’s embrace it, support one another, and above all, seek to reflect God’s love and grace in all that we do. And if you’re married, well, do your best, treat your partner right, be happy in your marriage, and don’t become another statistic. It makes a romantic like me smile when I see a couple truly enamored with each other well into their old age.
